Member Shaolindogma Posted March 15, 2008 Member Share Posted March 15, 2008 I like to read reviews at yahoo movies before I waste my money on Hollywood crap. I don't give much credit to the people who give movies an A+, and find that the reviewers who give movies lower scores are usually spot on. An A+ is a score you might give Gone With the Wind. Today I discovered a trend, the people who give an A+ in every category are morons. Example: I just watched Bee Movie and looked at the reviews for it. It was a horrible movie by the way, as far as plot goes it's probably the worst CGI movie ever produced. They made a joke about a suicide pact; its a kids movie. Here are some examples of reviews given by people who gave it an A+, or close to, in every category: 1. It takes you a life? Did Borat write this review? This is a good movie for all ages. It takes you a life of a bee that needs to stay alive. The people who plays in it makes the movie to comes a cool movie. Go See It 2. I like how this reviewer tries so hard to sound smart. Great for whole family This movie is funny for both kids and adults. Adult humor, but not the usual hidden sexual commentary adult humor. Adult humor as in jokes that kids may not get, but adults will. Generational humor, if you will. Funny, Witty, clever, and cute. I didn't know what to expect of this movie going in... due to the usually not funny commercials. This is a movie I will see again, and will probably buy on DVD. 3. The king of run on sentences and i's: i loved the movie i watched it twice i think that the money was well spent and i think this movie deserves a better grade than a stupid c+ i know this movie deserves an A+. It has great jokes and comedy in it it is well written and self spoken the movie is a master piece. The movie does not diserve any dissing or bad grading the actors who made the voices were great and i love the movie! 4. An honest review from someone with enough intelligence to give it an F. There were too many F reviews to post here, but you get the point. When I first saw the teaser to this movie four months ago, I knew it was going to be bad. Jerry Seinfeld dressed in a bee costume attached to an oversized windshield. I could not have been more wrong. This movie ranks down there with such flops as Mafia, Ishtar, Godzilla (Sony), and just about anything Ben Affleck has ever graced the silver screen with. Why then did I see this turd burger? I have a nephew that is 7 years old who didn't know any better and I was paid 30 bucks. Even a 7 year old little boy thought this movie was horrible. Josh (My nephew) asked if it would be alright if we left. That was all I needed. I cannot say one kind thing about this movie. The animation is flat, the acting is even flatter, the script was probably written in crayon and it resembles an entomologists version of Seinfeld. Do not support this movie!!!! This movie makes you wish the screen writers guild had gone on strike. I think I'll keep this thread alive by posting the dumbest reviewers I can find. Anyone else have some dumb reviews they want to post? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member daisho2004 Posted March 16, 2008 Member Share Posted March 16, 2008 OK Shaolindogma I do have to agree with you on people who give all movies an A+ some movie are good if not OK, it is very hard to find an Excellent movie now a days. But as far as the Bee Movie I thought it was OK for a kids movie not one of the best that has come around in a long time but enjoyable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member Shaolindogma Posted March 16, 2008 Author Member Share Posted March 16, 2008 I thought the whole premise of Bee movie was stupid. A bee sues the human race for eating honey. It seemed like the producers didn't give much credit to kids. Kids are dumb in general, but are savvy to the world around them. They made this movie because brats will cry until their parents buy it. Not because its a good movie but because it has an animated bee on the box. I see this every time I walk into Blockbuster, some grubby little kid kicking and screaming until mommy buys him what he wants... bee movie. It's annoying. Now, just because i don't like kids or jerry seinfeld, doesn't mean i didnt like the movie because of those two circumstances. It was sub-par, thats why i didnt like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member Righteous Master Posted March 17, 2008 Member Share Posted March 17, 2008 I would NEVER waste my time to even read a review of this film. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member massa_yoda Posted March 17, 2008 Member Share Posted March 17, 2008 2. I like how this reviewer tries so hard to sound smart. Watch out for critics who use "verisimilitude." Heaven forbid we actually say "realism" when we could use much bigger words and sound way smarter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member Morgoth Bauglir Posted March 18, 2008 Member Share Posted March 18, 2008 Here's one of my favorite dummy reviews. Iron Dragon Strikes Back- "Besides his famous theatrical movies (e.g. Enter The Dragon), Bruce Lee starred in about a dozen Hong Kong TV movies, this being one of them. The story revolves around a group of friends who like to go diving in their pastime. One day, they find a box full of gold bars. They argue about taking it, but the group's leader (Lee) decides to leave it where they found it because he suspects the gold to be contraband. But surely, the friends can't resist to take it, which puts them on the To-Do-list of the gangsters looking for their treasure. The late sixties style is awesome - the clothing, the interior design, the music... The action is great, sometimes very graphic, but always graceful and jaw dropping. The photography is mostly hand held camera and adds a certain roughness to the look. All in all, it's a funky, stylish action flick for the fans of Bruce Lee, Kung Fu and sixties flavor." I like to think that this reviewer thought Bruce Lee was in it because the movie is just so damn good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member TibetanWhiteCrane Posted March 18, 2008 Member Share Posted March 18, 2008 Here's one of my favorite dummy reviews. Iron Dragon Strikes Back- "Besides his famous theatrical movies (e.g. Enter The Dragon), Bruce Lee starred in about a dozen Hong Kong TV movies, this being one of them. The story revolves around a group of friends who like to go diving in their pastime. One day, they find a box full of gold bars. They argue about taking it, but the group's leader (Lee) decides to leave it where they found it because he suspects the gold to be contraband. But surely, the friends can't resist to take it, which puts them on the To-Do-list of the gangsters looking for their treasure. The late sixties style is awesome - the clothing, the interior design, the music... The action is great, sometimes very graphic, but always graceful and jaw dropping. The photography is mostly hand held camera and adds a certain roughness to the look. All in all, it's a funky, stylish action flick for the fans of Bruce Lee, Kung Fu and sixties flavor." I like to think that this reviewer thought Bruce Lee was in it because the movie is just so damn good. Daaaamn, what a retard!! late sixties:confused: jaw dropping action:confused: Thats so sad! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member ironfistedmonk Posted March 20, 2008 Member Share Posted March 20, 2008 Whoever writ that review obviously hasn't seen many kung fu movies, so the action in Iron Dragon Strikes Back would appear jaw dropping to them, besides, the end fight is pretty damn good IMO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member AlbertV Posted March 29, 2008 Member Share Posted March 29, 2008 Hahahaha...I got three words for this reviewer...DEE DEE DEE!!! I'll give you one very dumb movie with one very dumb person...FREDDY GOT FINGERED with Tom Green. I saw this in theaters thanks to someone in our group who had to come up with the idea to see this. I still should track this "friend" and get my $10 back!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member Morgoth Bauglir Posted April 1, 2008 Member Share Posted April 1, 2008 I'll give you one very dumb movie with one very dumb person...FREDDY GOT FINGERED with Tom Green. I saw this in theaters thanks to someone in our group who had to come up with the idea to see this. I still should track this "friend" and get my $10 back!!! Looks like a good review to me:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member mark187 Posted February 6, 2009 Member Share Posted February 6, 2009 one section of a review I read for The Departed claimed it was a remake of "the B-grade Hong Kong thriller Infernal Affairs", and of course went on to say basically The departed improved upon the original in every way:( now while everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I found this particular review to be insulting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member TibetanWhiteCrane Posted February 6, 2009 Member Share Posted February 6, 2009 one section of a review I read for The Departed claimed it was a remake of "the B-grade Hong Kong thriller Infernal Affairs", and of course went on to say basically The departed improved upon the original in every way:( now while everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I found this particular review to be insulting! I find it insulting that it was announced as a JAPANESE movie, at the ACADEMY AWARDS!!!!! America's ignorance about the world around them, never ceases to amaze me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member mark187 Posted February 6, 2009 Member Share Posted February 6, 2009 I agree. can they not tell the difference between Hong Kong and Japan? not to mention their lack of professionalism in not even getting their facts straight. anyway, the academy awards have become a joke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member TibetanWhiteCrane Posted February 6, 2009 Member Share Posted February 6, 2009 I agree. can they not tell the difference between Hong Kong and Japan? not to mention their lack of professionalism in not even getting their facts straight. anyway, the academy awards have become a joke Damn straight... I stopped watching the year that Babe, that talking pig movie, was in the running for best picture or whatever.... don't remember the year! I barely pay attention to new hollywood movies anymore, still collecting a whole host of oldies, 60's-90's. Asian cinema of course, and euro flicks of all shapes and sizes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Markgway Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Infernal Affairs was better than The Departed. The only reason that won Oscars is because The Academy were sacred Scorcese would die before they'd get another chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member TibetanWhiteCrane Posted February 7, 2009 Member Share Posted February 7, 2009 Infernal Affairs was better than The Departed. The only reason that won Oscars is because The Academy were sacred Scorcese would die before they'd get another chance. True.... It was an obvious pity oscar.... much like the one Heath Ledger will get for his "amazing" Joker performance! The oscars have NO credibility! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member GoldenFist Posted February 7, 2009 Member Share Posted February 7, 2009 I really liked the Departed then I rented Infernal Affairs, then I realized they were similar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member kungfusamurai Posted February 7, 2009 Member Share Posted February 7, 2009 I'm probably in the minority, but I think the Departed was a better film overall than Infernal Affairs. There was stuff in IA that shouldn't have been in there, and the ending was weak. Not to say I liked The Departed had a great ending, it also pissed me off, but it was still better than IA. Heath Ledger should not win an Oscar. He did a nice job as The Joker, but it wasn't Oscar-worthy. I started taking reviews with a grain of salt when guys like Ebert and Roeper were giving two thumbs up to the Star Wars prequels. I think there's some kind of back room dealings that go on with reviewers, like they have to give certain movies good reviews otherwise they lose access to future big films from the same company. Either that or there was too much carbon monoxide in the screening room when they saw those prequels. KFS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member HyperDrive Posted February 8, 2009 Member Share Posted February 8, 2009 I started taking reviews with a grain of salt when guys like Ebert and Roeper were giving two thumbs up to the Star Wars prequels. I think there's some kind of back room dealings that go on with reviewers, like they have to give certain movies good reviews otherwise they lose access to future big films from the same company. Either that or there was too much carbon monoxide in the screening room when they saw those prequels. Actually, some reviews are not even real. I dug this up on google news as an example. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/low/entertainment/1870618.stm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member masterofoneinchpunch Posted February 10, 2009 Member Share Posted February 10, 2009 ... I started taking reviews with a grain of salt when guys like Ebert and Roeper were giving two thumbs up to the Star Wars prequels. I think there's some kind of back room dealings that go on with reviewers, like they have to give certain movies good reviews otherwise they lose access to future big films from the same company. Either that or there was too much carbon monoxide in the screening room when they saw those prequels. KFS Um no. Ebert gave thumb up to the first and third and thumbs down to the second prequel. Ebert, while not always my favorite reviewer/critic has never been one to hold back from films he did not like (one of the few critics that hated Blue Velvet for example). The oscars have always had problems (I've watched 85 percent of the BP winners) even in the late 20s and 30s with one of my least favorites: The Broadway Melody of 1929. From a personal standpoint when Dustin HOffman won over Sellers in Kramer vs. Kramer over Being There (Best Actor) was a low point for me in my eyes in Academy bad judgement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator KUNG FU BOB Posted February 10, 2009 Administrator Share Posted February 10, 2009 From a personal standpoint when Dustin HOffman won over Sellers in Kramer vs. Kramer over Being There (Best Actor) was a low point for me in my eyes in Academy bad judgement. No shit. I couldn't believe it. Not saying Hoffman wasn't great in KVK, but Sellers was at his genius best in BT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member Tosh Posted February 19, 2009 Member Share Posted February 19, 2009 What's the best place to read about movie news and upcoming films and all that? I would go to that AINT IT COOL NEWS guy but he seems really annoying. Read that he has people sneak on to the sets of movies to steal copies of the script and shit i hav no ida why the douche is so popular. From the perspective of a nerd i guess it would be more complete and enthusiastic than a hollywood reporter. I go to CHUD.com, they're a bunch of opinionated aholes too, but who isn't onlineXD they seem to have simular tastes in movies and humor as I do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.