Guest ironfistedmonk Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 Whats the most absurd, crazy and damn right ridiculous thing you've ever seen in a kung fu movie? I just finished watching Kung Fu Arts with Carter Wong and that has IMO the stupidest most dumb ass plot point in the history of kung fu cinema, if you haven't seen the film and don't want this masterpiece ruined then stop reading now. The basic plot is sound, it's the usual overthrow the Emperor stuff but they have added a big twist to it which only someone taking some hard medication could have come up with. In an assassination attempt the Emperors daughter is hit with a poisoned dart which none of the court doctors can cure so a royal decree is issued that anyone who can cure the princess can have her hand in marriage. So what do they come up with to save the fair maiden, a handsome young doctor or a passing scholar? nope, some really ugly fat dude? nope, Au Lap Bo? guess again, it's Sida the French Monkey Star!!!!!!! Yes you read right, a fookin chimp has the cure for the poison:eek: Of course now the Emperor can't break his promise and so he marries his daughter off to this chimp, that is not a good look, imagine doing the shopping with your spouse on your arm, or on your shoulder in this case lol I can imagine the embarrassment lol Not only that he sets them adrift in a boat to fend for themselves, so now the daughter must be thinking what did I do to deserve this! My dad saves my life only to marry me off to a monkey and then kicks me out the house! nope thats not whats going on in her head, she's thinking lets start a family! So yes they miraculously conceive a child (is that even possible lol) which looks remarkably human fortunately, I couldn't take another kung fu Gorilla movie lol So thats how I've started my Saturday morning, can anyone else top this one for sheer ludicrousness? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Endsang Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 Well, it's not a classic movie, but I'll have to mention Swordsman 3 - The east is red. I remember Swordsman 2 as being a bit more absurd than the first, but I liked it nevertheless. This movie though, was just plain crazy. I was really disappointed too since the amount of swordplay was near equal to zero, and it just got weirder and weirder. Everything from the bald white crossdresser to the midget disguised as a japanese warlord got me sitting there thinking "WHAT-THE-HEEELL?!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest peringaten Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 I'm sorry IFM, but that sounds like the greatest plotting I've ever heard of. Moving this to the top of the must-get list, and I mean very top. Any spec info on versions going? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest peringaten Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 Also, how did I not know about this until now? You people have failed me. Badly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Morgoth Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 Also, how did I not know about this until now? You people have failed me. Badly. Every kung fu junkie should own the 50 pack. Its not our fault:D Choi Wang's cripppled style he uses in Ninja Supremo has to be the craziest damn thing I have ever seen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest HAZ Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 I Need This. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ironfistedmonk Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 I should have known you'd dig something like this Peri It's not a great film TBH mate, I wouldn't recommend it even to you lol No clue what version it is, I got it in a trade and it has no menu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Chinatown Kid Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 If you want to see absurd, look no further than the movie The Dragon Lives Again starring Bruce Liang along with his buddies Clint Eastwood, Dracula, James Bond and the Exorcist. That one about takes the cake...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ironfistedmonk Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 Yeah Dragon Lives Again is pretty mental but it's meant to be set in the afterlife or something like that which gives them carte blanche to be wacky, Kung Fu Arts is played totally straight which makes it completely bonkers in my eye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Chinatown Kid Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 Yeah I see your point, if they try to play it serious it makes it even worse. How about those Kung Fu fighting Gorillas in Bruce Li: The Invincible and I believe there was one in Bruce Li in New Guenia, now that was pretty damn ridiculous! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Endsang Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 I vaguely remember a movie where Chin Siu-Ho fights a kangaroo. Anyone seen it or know the name? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest will91XingYu Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 That films called Killer's Nocturn and it also stars Chris Lee (Nine Demons), i though Billy Chong fighting Dracula in Kung fu From Beyond the Grave was pretty wierd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drunken Monk Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 I watched "My Young Auntie" for the first time last night and the dance numbers in the middle of the film are just insane. Gordon Liu in a blonde, curly wig? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member AlbertV Posted November 20, 2007 Member Share Posted November 20, 2007 I think this was the most ridiculous: Cheetah on Fire - First, Gordon Liu with curly hair and his character having been shot, has sex with a hooker while his cohort is trying to pry the bullet out of his shoulder at the same time!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hermeskungfu Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 What about Fantasy Mission Force that is pretty damn weird and plot - what plot! The first fight in Shaolin Chastity Kung Fu is Alexander Lou versus Cow / Bull - he wins! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NoNiceTime Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Must abusrd kf movie I've ever seen was Shaolin Drunkard by far. Blood sucking monster being help at shaolin temple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member Secret Executioner Posted November 27, 2014 Member Share Posted November 27, 2014 The movie with the princess ending happily married to a monkey (checked out alternative titles on IMDb, not sure if they are serious but some of those titles are hilarious: who would want to pass a film called The Monkey Love ?!) sounds like something I could dig. The Dragon Lives Again sounds like some kind of experience too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member The Dragon Posted November 27, 2014 Member Share Posted November 27, 2014 How about Chinese Super Ninjas, where the one guy is taking on The Supreme Ninja, and his intestines are hanging on the ground, and he still fights?? At one point, he even trips on them, and doubles over in pain! (Shocking) I flinch every time I view this scene. ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member stills Posted November 27, 2014 Member Share Posted November 27, 2014 Taoism drunkard: the killer watermelon, the mouse car Gods of wutang: guys got a wooden horse full of sake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member laagi Posted November 27, 2014 Member Share Posted November 27, 2014 I always thought Evil Cult was pretty wacky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member stills Posted November 27, 2014 Member Share Posted November 27, 2014 What's the one with Lee Hoi San in black face? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member Morgoth Bauglir Posted November 27, 2014 Member Share Posted November 27, 2014 Is that Lee Hoi San in Enter the Fat Dragon? I thought it was Jim Kelly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member sifu iron perm Posted November 28, 2014 Member Share Posted November 28, 2014 Is that Lee Hoi San in Enter the Fat Dragon? I thought it was Jim Kelly. lmao you wrong for that!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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