Identify two movies that have been driving me crazy for *years*

[jacksigh]

Back in either the late 70s or early to mid 80s Detroit tv used to show old Wuxia films late at night. I used to really enjoy them, but there are two films that I can only remember scenes from, and have no clue what they were. I'm hoping some kind soul might recognize these and clue me in:
 

1. In the first film a hero and heroine (prince and princess, perhaps?) arrive at some sort of gate/outpost manned by a large hostile force. There's some dialogue with enemy leaders and then one, and then the other, are shot full of arrows and die. They are completely covered with arrows, practically like gruesome porcupines, then collapse. It was pretty shocking.
    
2. In the second film there is some kind of toxin that if it gets into your system you have only a few minutes to live: the only antidote is to make love immediately (it's not a pornographic film, just suggestive). I remember one heroine who gets dosed, but survives by getting the necessary antidote, and another, possible a female villain, who dies before she can save herself. The toxin might be delivered by a dart or perhaps in food (this was a long time ago!). Also, if I remember properly, maybe eating a certain kind of bun or dumpling might also save you (it was a weird movie). I'm not at all sure about this last part. I seem to remember a male commoner and/or thief and a noble heroine (who survives poisoning).

I thought I should ask in the Shaw Brothers part of this forum, as I'm pretty sure most of the films shown by the station were Shaw productions, plus the timing seems right.

Anyways, if these ring a bell with anyone I'd love to hear from them. Thanks!

[odioustrident]

I think there are a few wuxia films with that aphrodisiac poison idea but they are more often 90's titles. Royal Tramp II has a lot of what you're describing.

[jacksigh]

That's interesting that the idea shows up in more than one film--sadly it couldn't have been one of the nineties films, because I was out of the Detroit broadcast region by 1986. I really missed those late-night Shaw Brothers fests!

I haven't seen Royal Tramp II, but I just read a synopsis and it sounds super like what I recall. I wonder if both derive from the same source?

Thanks very much for your response!

[odioustrident]

I just looked this up and apparently the movie is based on Louis Cha's Deer and the Cauldron. The 1983 Shaw film Tales of a Eunuch is also based on this story. I don't remember that film ever being dubbed but it would be awesome if your movie turns out to be that one.  It would prove that some obscure Shaw stuff got US TV airings early on. Apparently this crazy sex poison idea has come up in other stories also.

[DrNgor]

33 minutes ago, odioustrident said:

I just looked this up and apparently the movie is based on Louis Cha's Deer and the Cauldron. The 1983 Shaw film Tales of a Eunuch is also based on this story.

Apparently Wong Yu played the same character, Wei Siu-Bo ("Wilson Bond"), in How to Choose a Royal Bride (1985). That appears to mainly be a comedy, though.

[DrNgor]

https://web.archive.org/web/20051025024906/http://www.kungfucinema.com/reviews/talesofaeunuch_091505.htm

Quote

Tales of a Eunuch (1983)

AKA: n/a

Screwball black humor, imperial court intrigue and moderate doses of spitfire kung fu action collide in this fast-talking comedy actioner guaranteed to make even Hong Kong movie aficionados' heads spin.

Like Wong Jing's Royal Tramp series starring Stephen Chow, Tales of a Eunuch is based on The Duke of Mount Deer, a popular wuxia novel by Louis Cha. Unlike many of his more high-minded efforts, the central protagonist of this story is nothing more than an opportunistic, bastard son of a whore, who finds himself in the right place at the right time.

Lau Kar-leung protege and kung fu comedy actor Wang Yu is well suited to play Siu-bao, a spirited young man during the Qing Dynasty stuck doing menial labor at a brothel where his mother is employed, while hustling gamblers on the side. A chance encounter with a Ming rebel on the run from Imperial soldiers leads him to the Empire's capital where he winds up replacing a steward to a eunuch and kung fu master (Ku Feng) he has just blinded. From here, Siu-bo becomes known as Eunuch Siu Guei-tzu and begins using his smarts to outwit his new master, befriend the Emperor (Gordon Liu), keep the amorous affections of the Emperor's sister at bay, and uncover a plot to steal a valuable kung fu manual that involves just about everyone.

Director Hua Shan squeezes an enormous amount of material into 90 minutes and this is where the film fails. Hua ploughs through the story like a madman, hardly stopping to let his actors take a breath or finish a sentence before switching scenes. The manic pace probably suits the fast-talking Cantonese humor that the film displays, but it doesn't make it any easier to digest when you don't speak the language or know the source material. Much of the intended humor doesn't really translate, nor is it consistent. The film contains a number of gruesome and callous moments of extreme violence that could be likened to moments in Kung Fu Hustle, where the extreme nature of the violence itself is meant to illicit laughs, but due to the pacing its more likely to create dumbstruck awe.

Most of Tales of a Eunuch is made up of juvenile comic scenarios accompanied by equally oddball music and effects. Some are crude like Siu-bo's mother attending to a fat man in the brothel, some violent like a rescuer's sword blade flying off the handle with bloody results, and some just plain nutty such as when the Emperor's sister "flirts" with Siu-bo by beating him senseless with a stick and threatening to gouge his eyes out.

The film is definitely a comedy first and a kung fu movie second. Part of the central plot involves a scramble for an obscure kung fu manual, but it's just an otherwise irrelevant "McGuffin." Wang Yu's character is not meant to be a kung fu hero, although he learns a few techniques along the way. If he isn't getting bested by Gordon Liu in friendly bouts, then he's hiding from the murderous clutches of a blind Ku Feng or the Empress, who happens to be a pretty mean brawler herself. The movie has a talented stunt crew led by Tang Chia to bolster the action and there are a few slick moves her and there, but like everything else it moves too frantically to be appreciated.

There are some fun moments in the film and it gets a little easier to take in as the plot develops. This is, however, not a movie that plays well to foreign audiences in general. Nor is there enough kung fu action to fill in the cultural gaps. Its humor and pacing presumes too much with regard to its intended local audience and this, more than anything, leaves the rest of us out in the cold, trying to pick up blood-soaked banana peels.

 

[jacksigh]

You guys are awesome--thanks for your responses!

Tales of Eunuch was actually available on Amazon so I watched it last night: I'm 99% certain that you nailed it. As I watched it, I recognized several other scenes as well, and the only thing that was "missing" was someone not getting the antidote on time, which I bet was just mixed-up memory after more than 25 years.

Thanks again!