Twins Mission

[Guest Elhcay]

www.moviexclusive.com/rev...ission.htm

Synopsis:

A Dzi bead from Tibet was on its way to Hong Kong for an exhibition, but was stolen by a mysterious gang with a possible link to a long-lost cult, the Gemini Clan. The guardian of the Dzi bead, Lucky and his adopted son, Hey tried to solicit the help of the head of the Clan, the Principal, to track down the bead.

Unwilling to come out of retirement, the Principal refused to get involved, but when Lucky was seriously wounded after another attack by the mysterious gang, the Principal reluctantly summoned the help of the Clan’s former member – Twins.

In the meantime, the suicide of an artifact dealer put the police hot on the heels of the Principal and his students. When Hey finally retrieved the bead, he mistakenly handed it to the Principal’s twin brother, the Boss, who was the master mind behind the theft in an attempt to take over a prime piece of property along the coast.

Movie Review:

Twins Mission is of no relation to Twins Effect, but it could well have been: shoddy, terrible movies. A half campy, half serious movie that switches from epic, classical music to obscenely tacky techno the next, Twins Mission is one confused movie trying to play the blockbuster card. Badly.

Twins Mission stars Gillian Cheung and Charlene Choi, as the name seems to suggest, along with HK movie big wigs Sammo Hung and Yuen Wah. Unfortunately, the twins aren’t really the stars of the show. In fact, screen time and plot lines are so convolutedly planned none of the characters seem to take the mantle to carry and guide the story along. The show starts with Lucky (Sammo Hung) and his disciple (played by a creditable Wu Jing) chasing down the Heavenly Bead artifact amidst a parachuting, training hopping battle with their antagonists. The bead eventually gets lost amidst the fisticuffs and the story ensues in a classic, good versus evil artifact hunting film that culminates in a grand climax. The Twins? They but are two of eight twins summoned to find the Heavenly Bead.

Right from the off, computer-generated images were used for this pretty well-budgeted movie. Visually, they were beautiful, but they looked computer-generated. Director Kong Tao Hoi falls into the infamous habit of, on a spur, engaging CGI that look good in animated films but are clearly awkward in real, action films. Twins Mission is unfortunately crippled throughout: the use of extravagant effects, sound-track, CGI, action scenes, all strung together by a flimsy plot strung together as a means to the visual feast, as opposed to them being tools to telling a compelling story. Twins Mission wields a plot so contrived the movie seems like twenty movie ideas snipped and trimmed in the editing room and pieced together.

The de-facto lead of the movie, Beijing Drama Academy graduate and rising kungfu star Wu Jing, puts up an extremely credible performance, marred by overly cheesy emotional scenes that never fit into the plot flow. In one scene, Wu’s character hold a toy rally car and knocks into a another character in a hospital, only to find out she drives the exact model. Extravagant, symphonic soundtrack plays as he gazes out of the window with a benign smile, seemingly at the coincidence, in a horrifyingly goosebump raising moment. The audience hasn’t even begun to know the characters properly to feel anything for them!

Twins Mission mistakenly assumes tiresome and countless plot links for depth, intricacy and good story. Amidst such dramatic plot lines, we even see Charlene, in an adsurdly slapstick scene, clamp a attacking snake with her mouth and crack jokes about eye discharge. Twins Mission bumbles form an either melodramatic or slapstick scene to another, akin to a pre-school essay written by a child who has learnt all about conflicts and climaxes without caring for absolutely any form of rising or falling action.

Does Twins Mission know its target market? Being the confused film that it is, it can hardly be recommended either as a movie for adults and certainly not as a festive movie or a family movie. The cringe-worthy jokes and comedy were so overwhelmingly childish most discerning movie-goers will feel uneasy. Yet, action scenes were totally overwhelming. Who should watch it?

Action scenes come at you along the lines of two male twins dragging their female antagonist across a table and smashing her face into every countless computer monitors leaving her scarred and presumably dead, while swinging another round and round before smashing her head into a side ornament. The Twins joke about ‘G-Cup†breasts, while Wu Jing’s character is shown in a graphic car accident scene hitting the bumper and completely, clearly rolling over the top and landing on the ground. He eventually disposes of the key antagonist by flinging razor-blade-like objects into his eyes and throwing him through a glass window down a skyscraper. This movie makes no apology for its wanton and irresponsible use of violence and fails to at least show that they do not condone the violence. Surely the protagonists could have frowned or shown scripted remorse?

A movie that is lazy in screenplay, script, plot, direction and social responsibility ranks low on a recommendation list. The Hong Kong movie scene has seen a semi-revival with Infernal Affairs, Confessions of Pain and surely, it does not deserve such lukewarm mainstream fare? A perfect example of what Twins could have been was Seoul Raiders, which mixed action, camp and eye candy in a family-friendly, entertaining fare that was visually and mentally engaging. If not for Wu Jing’s promising performance, Twins Mission had little to show for such a flashy, big-budget production. Flashing, in cheesy fonts at the ends of the movie “Watch till the end if you want to know the endingâ€(or something along those lines) was the final straw in a lack of class, production quality and taste.

Movie Rating:

2/5

(Twins Mission turned out to be one that was impossible to accomplish!)

Review by Daniel Lim

Though the above review panned it completely, I enjoyed the movie thoroughly. I don't find the plot confusing, since it's nothing complex. Being a New Year movie, it's delightful, rollicking funny, engaging and entertaining, with some moments of tenderness. The Twins features quite a number twins used to good effect. The only gripe I have is that Yuen Wah's evil twin brother's character is not clearly fleshed out. Little is known about his real intention behind helping the professor to acquire the land or the Dzi bead And the ending is somewhat open-ended, leaving a possibilty for sequel - providing the film does well.

The fights are varied, slick and plentiful, with some freshness. The opening and ending fights are especially good. The thievery scene in the middle is done with great deft and artfulness. The camera could be pulled back a little, since quite a few of them suffer from claustrophobic shots, including the Twins. On the other hand, the fights featuring Sammo Hung, Yuen Wah and in particular, Wu Jing, have more stable camara work and use wide shots and are wonderfully choreographed.

Sammo Hung's character seems to be someone of great earnesty, yet he often dispenses wisecracking and sardonic remarks at the most inopportune moments. Wu Jing carries his role very well, more charismatic than in Fatal Contact. Special mention goes to the twins Mona and Lisa. They really stand out despite being first-timers.

The first one third of the movie has some superb cinematography and lensing with lots of wide shots and panaramic views, it's more polished than the rest of the movie, as if they're done by different people. Wish they had more of such wide shots throughout the movie.

[Guest dyenboy]

great review..sounds pretty interesting.

Is this a recommended buy or rental?

[Guest Elhcay]

It's a worthy collection for the action alone.

But whether you'd be in tune with the campiness or not is another matter.:b

[Guest Elhcay]

swiftywriting.blogspot.co...ssion.html

Swifty Reviews 'Twins Mission 雙子神偷'

Sunday, February 18, 2007

TWINS EFFECT was a self-inflicted punishment.

After seeing GHOST RIDER earlier in the day, my friend asked me out for a movie at night, so I went. Since I've already seen both GHOST RIDER and PROTEGE, both films my friend originally wanted to watch, the only choice we had was TWINS MISSION.

If this weren't a Lunar Chinese New Year film (I always catch all HK films released during Chinese New Year), I would have ignored TWINS MISSION, after all, I've mentioned numerous times that I've never had any pleasant experiences when watching a film with both members of the Hong Kong pop duo, Twins, in it. When they are separated, Gillian Chung and Charlene Choi are competent actresses, appearing in some movies that I myself have enjoyed. When together... instant disaster. Always felt that the TWINS EFFECTS movies were horribly bad, and PROTEGE DE LA ROSE NOIRE even worse. Decent production values, horrible script with really shallow characterization (for some reason, people seem to think that a film can rely ENTIRELY on the girls' charms, and their charms do not involve good dialogue, just them smiling and pouting their way through) and insipid humour that annoys more than amuses (laughing through the jokes will make you feel like an idiot, not laughing through will make you feel like a humourless douchebag, it's always a lose-lose situation).

So I knew TWINS MISSION was going to suck. It will violate my senses, assault my patience, insult my intelligence, and then leave me on the floor, helpless and wasted. Raped in the mind, I will be left pregnant with an overwhelming feeling of resignation and sadness, a wordless acceptance that no matter how horrible these films are, Hong Kong will continue churning out monstrosities like this in the near future.

Thus I decided to maintain a Zen-like attitude whilst watching the film. There will be no hate because there shouldn't be any, it wouldn't be the fault of the filmmakers, the financiers nor the cast members that the film suck so badly, it would be my own fault that I chose to waste my money on this film.

There is a 'plot' for this film.

Here's the synopsis: A dZi bead from Tibet was on its way to Hong Kong for an exhibition, but was stolen by a mysterious gang with a possible link to a long-lost cult, the Gemini Clan. The guardian of the dZi bead Lucky (Sammo Hung) and his adopted son Hey (Wu Jing) tried to solicit the help of the head of the Clan, the Principal (Yuen Wah), to track down the bead...

Basically the Gemini Clan is a clan of kungfu fighters consists solely of twins, so there was SOME intrigue during the film's opening, when I saw that a group of baddies who ambushed Sammo and Wu Jing on a train are all multiple pairs of twins. But yeap, that was the highlight of the film for me.

"Whoa, two pairs of twins!" I commented.

The film went downhill from there. I can't even say that it hits rock bottom, since the film fell even lower than that. It ceases to make sense, it lifts from Wong Jing's book of nonsense filmmaking, but then decides to surpass Wong Jing by becoming even more, well, nonsense. A pointless plot, more silly characterization (lots of characters are introduced in the middle of the movie, their back stories mentioned in one scene, and we are expected to have some kind of emotional investment in them, right), a series of seemingly unrelated unfunny skits stringed together: its attempt in humour similar to that of PROTEGE DE LA ROSE NOIRE, repetitive, uninspired and annoying, but worst of all, this movie also tries to be sentimental:

- a stupidly long dramatic scene showing hero Wu Jing's last moments with a terminally ill twin brother and overwhelming melodramatic music when said terminally ill twin brother dies... and we are supposed to feel SAD in that scene despite the fact that that is the first time we have ever seen the twin brother?

- Then there's also a scene of hero Wu Jing trying to cheer up a David Copperfield- crazy cancer-stricken sick little girl (yes, I wonder whether all these characters are plucked off from Korean soaps) in the hospital by performing magic tricks that makes... medicine pills float in the air. Right, out of nowhere, Wu Jing becomes a magician, we are supposed to feel, I don't know, awed by this cinematic wonder? I wanted the Wu Jing character to levitate himself in the air and then throws himself off the window.

- Such an attempt to wring pathos is stupid, considering that...

- Cancer-stricken little girl is hell annoying.

- However, Jess Zhang, the chick who plays cancer girl's elder sister is pretty though.

- The twins, Mona and Lisa Ch'ng, who play evil characters in this film, are kinda sexy too.

- Twins duo Charlene Choi and Gillian Chung, while not really twins in real life, plays twins in the movie.

- The martial arts scenes are generic Hong Kong stuff, you might be thrilled if you have never seen a martial arts film in your life, nor any Hollywood films with martial arts in it.

- The production values of this film is even cheaper than that of TWINS EFFECT (of course) and PROTEGE DE LA ROSE NOIRE. Film is shot on video, and its end result seem like something from a student film, or my video blog entries... really grainy at night scenes.

- Much had been made about Wu Jing's potential as the new Jet Li after SHA PO LANG. While he has impressive martial arts skills, appearing in two consecutive clunkers, FATAL CONTACT (which seems like a masterpiece compared to TWINS MISSION) and TWINS MISSION isn't going to help him much, since I don't remember Jet Li, even at his lowest, had never appeared in something as bad as TWINS MISSION.

- When it comes to martial arts, Hrithik Roshan looked cooler in KRRISH, that Bollywood superhero movie.

Oh, my mind is beginning to wander, just like how I was when I was watching the film. Frankly, there's nothing redeeming about the film, I tried to think of some, but I can't think of any. Are the Twins members cute enough? I don't know, I'm sure there are people who can stomach any of their hijinks, even though their screen time in this film is much lower than Wu Jing's until the second half of the film.

It doesn't belong to the 'so bad it's funny' category, nor the 'so bad it's awful that it pisses me off' category, I felt nothing, the Zen-like approach I maintained whilst watching the film prevented much vitriol. This is what I get for constantly being naive and believe, for a moment, that a movie with both members of Twins in it can't get any worse. I have been proven wrong. I am enlightened.

Under normal circumstances, when the end credits start rolling, I knew I would have wept, but my eyes were too dry to do so. I knew gouging my eyes with chopsticks may have been less painful, but obviously, there weren't any chopsticks around. I wanted to hate the movie by bitching about it, dissing it, tearing it to shreds as I walk out of the cinema with my friend, but there is just silence from us both, we felt as if our souls had been sucked away.

It got bashed up again. >D

[Guest Beat TG]

sounds corny, ah well might still be worth seeing.

[Guest HungKuen]

Yeah, I'll see it just because of the fights, but I'm not expecting anything but a crappy movie.

Twins Effect was terrible, and the "sequel" looked even worse.

[Guest dager in the cotton]

it was