The non sensical things ( at least for me )I noticed in martial arts movies

[Omni Dragon]

15 hours ago, Killer Meteor said:

In Heroes Two, it's the hero who is dubbed with a stupid voice.

I wish I knew, who ever did the voice is in a lot of Shaw's but still I've not come across a matched name.

[Killer Meteor]

Yeah, he's so far escaped detection.

[Omni Dragon]

Perhaps the best quick method of killing a person is to throw a knife, dart or axe at their torso or back. Make sure you stand a few metres a way, as it is well known stabbing within arms length is often less effective. It seems like throwing a knife in a kung fu movie is often more deadly and quicker to kill than a gun shot.

When striking someone unarmed or with blunt weapons blood is most likely to come from their mouth, even with non-face strikes. I assume spitting fake blood was the easiest blood effect. I know a lot of times it's to represent internal injuries though it still seems far too frequent, especially so when the movie doesn't explicitly reference some kind of internal kung fu. 

I made a thread asking about the nonsensical almost instant death from tongue biting:

Here's some quotes that I think seem fitting here:

 @odioustrident said:

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The other one is people getting kicked in the nuts so hard they die an agonizing death.

 

@Killer Meteor said:

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Also, notice how all bedrooms come ready with scissors for raped maidens to immediately top themselves with. You have no idea how liberating I Spit On Your Grave seems after too many old school flicks.

 

@masterofoneinchpunch said:

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The quick tongue biting death is the same as the quick death by arrow to back (or stomach) or knife to back (or stomach) which wouldn't kill anyone instantly, but does in the movie world to get rid of a character quickly.

 

[Secret Executioner]

@Silver and Gold Dragon It is worth mentionning that the quick arrow/knife death you're discussing only works for side-characters like random soldiers or goons. As mentionned in this thread's Shaw Bros equivalent, an important character can be slashed with a sword, get struck with multiple arrows and spears and/or have broken limbs, they are just fine and remain in fighting condition.

[Omni Dragon]

@Secret Executioner you're right also the heroes are good at dodging thrown weapons or catching them. In the case of One Armed Swordsman and The Water Margin weapons are caught by the heroes teeth.

[ShawAngela]

Strong teeth, indeed, and without even a drop of blood on the lips !!

And it seems that people ALWAYS have A LOT of very useful things like weapons, medicine and so on in their sleeves...

[Yihetuan]

What about when the hero will be fighting off a gang of ruffians with his bare hands while the bad guys all have weapons (swords, blades, etc) and the hero will grab a weapon from one of the baddies during close quarters fighting and kill him with it and then promptly throw it down or leave it sticking in the dead guy and continue to fight the other guys unarmed.

[ShawAngela]

It seems that when two women fight for the same man, their only purpose is to strip each other until they are completely naked...

What's the use ??!!

[ShawAngela]

Bruce Lee against Supermen 1975

I recently got the German release of this movie, which, as for The Tormentor, deserves a whole post on its own in this section...

1) The Green Hornet is mentioned several times in the movie, and he appears less than one minute during the whole movie...

2) The Green Hornet looks more like a hippie than like a righteous hero and righter of the wrongs...

3) The Green Hornet wears...RED clothes !!!

4) When Bruce Li's girlfriend arrives at his apartment where he is sleeping with the undercover police woman, he has already put his clothes and the police woman is half dressed, and the two girls fight and fight again, the girlfriend trying to drown the policewoman in the bathtub, and no Bruce Li in sight to separate them...Where has he gone during the fight instead of trying to separate them in order to avoid a murder ??!!

5) I know Kato is a kind of super hero, but it's still strange to see Bruce Li running with his rickshaw almost as fast as a car in which there is his girlfriend and the bandits...

6) Still in the super hero's department, not only Bruce Li is able to lift his rickshaw as if it was a feather, WITH A MAN INSIDE IT, but also, when the rope that maintained the rickshaw in the air  is broken, he is still able to hold it and he manages to avoid having both shoulders broken with the shock of the brutal falling of the rickshaw !!

7) Bruce Li's friend Hong Yu uses a...SLINGSHOT to prevent the bandit using a rifle to shoot the girlfriend's father or Bruce Li, but suddenly, he disappears from the scene and the bandit is able to shoot two or three more times and to break the rope that hold the rickshaw with the father in it !!

8 ) During the fight with Lung Fei, Bruce Li wearing dungarees is hurt on the arm and on the leg, and he barely can walk, and suddenly, we see him in a car, with new clothes, and walking and fighting as if nothing had happened...

9) Lung Fei wins several times by using high jumps, and suddenly, he doesn't know how to jump anymore and he is badly defeated...

10) When she goes with the bandits in their cars to bring the medicine to he kidnapped father, the girlfriend takes the time to arrange her make up and throw her things through the window of the car, and none of the bandits see that !!!

11) Hong Yu appears in several combats, helping Bruce Li, but he suddenly disappears and one can't know if he is dead or not during the fight with Lung Fei...

 

Well, I think that I didn't forget anything...and that this movie was a waste of money...

[Killer Meteor]

Oh, I love Bruce vs Supermen!

[CT KID]

On 2/5/2020 at 9:20 AM, ShawAngela said:

It seems that when two women fight for the same man, their only purpose is to strip each other until they are completely naked...

What's the use ??!!

Ha that's easy, for total exploitative nudity of course!

[venom10463]

I always found it funny that Lu Feng's character in Crippled Avengers was able to grasp objects and throw punches with his metal hands.

[Killer Meteor]

On 2/22/2020 at 3:43 AM, venom10463 said:

I always found it funny that Lu Feng's character in Crippled Avengers was able to grasp objects and throw punches with his metal hands.

He shops at the same store as Rotwang.

[Yihetuan]

This applies to both old school period kung fu movies and Edo era Japanese ninja films but I always chuckled when the villain or treacherous backstabber would pull off his/her latex mask and it would be a perfect likeness of the person they were impersonating. I didn't realize 17th Century China and Japan had perfected latex masks that would make Hollywood FX guys jealous. 

[Killer Meteor]

On 2/26/2020 at 4:52 AM, Yihetuan said:

This applies to both old school period kung fu movies and Edo era Japanese ninja films but I always chuckled when the villain or treacherous backstabber would pull off his/her latex mask and it would be a perfect likeness of the person they were impersonating. I didn't realize 17th Century China and Japan had perfected latex masks that would make Hollywood FX guys jealous. 

The best example being the Shaolin Disguise in BRUCE LEE: THE INVINCIBLE - a mask turning Chen Sing into Mars just like magic!

[HyperDrive]

I've noticed sometimes that when the heroes are wanted or have escaped from somewhere, they run through an open field or down the main road where everyone else is.

[DrNgor]

While watching The Heroic Ones, the characters frequently use ropes and grappling hooks to scale walls, despite establishing in other scenes that they can jump the entire height of the walls if they wish.

[Graeme Of Death]

Old people in Kung Fu films have the ability to grow unnaturally long eye brows

[Graeme Of Death]

I'm not sure if this is non sensical or not but in kung fu films characters always spy on someone by poking a wee hole in the papery windows. Now I've never seen these before and don't know how easy it is to repair but is that like the kung fu equivalent of smashing a window and having to get your double glazing replaced?

[venom10463]

On 3/24/2020 at 9:44 AM, Graeme Of Death said:

I'm not sure if this is non sensical or not but in kung fu films characters always spy on someone by poking a wee hole in the papery windows. Now I've never seen these before and don't know how easy it is to repair but is that like the kung fu equivalent of smashing a window and having to get your double glazing replaced?

The same thing is also done in Japanese samurai films. It's just a way for them to be discreet. I like the ones when they are caught peeping and receive a poke in their eye.

Edited March 26, 2020 by venom10463

[edher_M.A.]

Great topic.

It doesn't matter if its a one on one  or a  20 vs 20 fight... if one Says "STOP".. everybody stops.

It doesn't matter if you walk 200 km, its okay that at night you use your stinky shoes you wore all day as a pillow.

Japanese are all bad, nasty and ruthless and use Hitler mustaches.

It doesn't matter that you are an illiterate peasant, you can travel from China to Korea or Japan or Thailand and you will have no language barriers cause cantonese is the most spoken language in Asia. Also all foreiners comming to China can speak it as well.

 

 

 

 

[ShawAngela]

In Chinatown capers 1974

Shan Kuan Ling Fung and Sam Hui witness a car accident in the USA in which the two drivers faint, and when an american policeman arrives and Polly tries to explain him what happened with the very few words she knows in English, and even by mimicking the accident, the policeman doesn't understand anything, makes her repeat several times what happens, and finally take the two of them to the police station without even a glimpse to the two fainted drivers, nor to the cars !!!

When a guy puts a message in Sam Hui's in his collar at the back, he doesn't feel anything ; then, he is shown running wih Shan Kuan Ling Fung to another road, and one doesn't see anymore the sheet of paper, and suddenly, when Polly looks at his back, the paper is here again !!

When Polly and Sam Hui don't have any money, they sing in the street : Sam Hui plays a kind of Chinese guitar but the sound that is heard is the one of a orchestra with several occidental guitars and other instruments !

With the money they earn, they live in a hotel room, and yet Polly has always dirt on her cheeks all along the movie !!

 

 

[ShawAngela]

In 36 deadly styles 1979

Hua Zhi (Nick Chueng Lik) seems to be dead after the fight of the beginning of the movie and all the monks and his soon to be dead uncle cry his death, and later, he is shown joking around with the monks without any explanation about his resurrection !

At the end, when Hwang Jang Lee finds Fan Mei Sheng, his daughter and Hua Zhi in their refuge, Fan Mei Sheng wears only a white tshirt at the beginning of the fight, and then, later, he wears his blue jacket upon his tshirt and I'm not sure, but it seems that ine the last minutes of the ending fight, he is again with only his tshirt...

[ShawAngela]

Something that is very weird in  movies is that when a fighter is hurt at the arm, he can't walk and he limps a lot, with such mimics as if he was agonizing...!!

[Killer Meteor]

FIVE SHAOLIN MASTERS

To defeat your opponent, you don't need to be a better fighter. You just need to know the right counter style, like an infernal game of Rock Paper Scissors.