Fu Flicks You Couldn't Make it the End Of....Member Confessions

[Drunken Monk]

I can’t remember how many I’ve actually tried to sit through, but I’ve never made it through a single Wang Yu film. 

[DrNgor]

5 hours ago, KUNG FU BOB said:

SHAOLIN DRUNKARD (1983)

 

Love this film!

5 hours ago, KUNG FU BOB said:

GOOSE BOXER is filled with plenty of nonsense, but believe it or not, does have a few redeeming qualities too.

 

There's some really great crane kung fu in this one.

 

5 hours ago, KUNG FU BOB said:

That ratings system is inspired and hilarious.

 

The only movie that made me reconsider using Hot Potato as a reference point in badness was Sunland Heat with J.J. Perry.

[Omni Dragon]

@teako170 and @LuFengLover,  I'm curious to know what it was about Police Story you didn't like? Is it things like you don't like guns in martial arts movies? Or did you find some scenes too silly? Like where Jackie's protecting Brigitte Lin or the answering phones scene? Is it martial art movies in contemporary settings you don't like? I'd be curious to know what 1980s HK action movies in a contemporary setting you do like?

10 hours ago, KUNG FU BOB said:

SHAOLIN DRUNKARD (1983)

I can understand why people wouldn't like movies from The Miracle Fighters series. In fact the first time I watched one, I wasn't that impressed and did find it very weird, but after I knew what to expect, I very much enjoyed them for there zaniness. I think sometime I miss judge a movie as 'bad' if it's not what I'm expecting. That said some always will seem bad.

[Asmo]

16 hours ago, One Armed Boxer said:

'Battle Wizard' is pure class!  Where else can you see Danny Lee wrestling with a giant snake, battle a hook handed monster, and clash with a clan of ninjas just for good measure!?

Hey, I enjoy some good craziness now and then, might just be that I wasn't in the mood that one night. I'll give it another shot some time.

[TibetanWhiteCrane]

How the fuck does this quoting thing work, and why can't I delete my own post??? Argh, I'm too old for this shit!

[One Armed Boxer]

1 hour ago, TibetanWhiteCrane said:

How the fuck does this quoting thing work, and why can't I delete my own post??? Argh, I'm too old for this shit!

If you just want to quote one post, press the 'Quote' button (if you only want to quote a certain part then you can delete the rest)...if you want to quote more than one, press the '+' button.

[ShaOW!linDude]

5 hours ago, TibetanWhiteCrane said:

How the fuck does this quoting thing work, and why can't I delete my own post??? Argh, I'm too old for this shit!

Or highlight the text you want to quote, and a little "Quote This" box pops up. Then just click on that.

10 hours ago, Drunken Monk said:

I can’t remember how many I’ve actually tried to sit through, but I’ve never made it through a single Wang Yu film. 

Yeah!!! It's not just me!!!!! (Though I have made it through a couple of Wang Yu films just so my utter disappointment would be complete.)

[KenHashibe]

I feel I'm a pretty tolerant person. Whenever I start a movie, I will do my best to finish it. Even when a scene is just grating, I will sit through it. No fast forward. As much as I wanted to skip through The Guy With Secret Kung Fu, I didn't. I watched the entire movie. That was rough.

I feel I have a high tolerance of annoying stuff (i.e. Dean Shek. An awful Dean Shek performance doesn't really faze me anymore). I will often stop watching a movie if nothing happens. I'd rather feel annoyed than bored. At least I'm feeling something. That is why I'd much rather rewatch The Master Strikes over Crouching Tiger. With that said, here are a couple movies I couldn't finish:

Ring of Death: I've seen this a lot on this thread, which is odd because I hear it's quite good. And like a lot of you, I've only gotten to the scene with Lee Hoi Sang on the bridge. It didn't do anything for me.

Shaolin Invincible Sticks: Started off extremely promising with its fight choreography. But it eventually becomes kinda typical at a certain point.

I'm sure there are more that I can't remember right now.

On 10/18/2017 at 12:56 PM, teako170 said:

I use to keep a list of films I watched and then dumped in the trash, so I wouldn't mistakenly pick them up in a trade at some future point. While many of these were indie produced crap, some of the "bigger films" I couldn't finish include The Raid, Police Story (1,2,3), and Bamboo House of Dolls. 

On 10/19/2017 at 10:39 AM, One Armed Boxer said:

As for not being able to finish 'Police Story', I think @KenHashibe may have sensed a disturbance in the force...

On 10/22/2017 at 12:35 PM, KUNG FU BOB said:

@KenHashibe... take a deep breath and count to ten. It's going to be okay.

In all seriousness, I know of some other people who didn't really care for Police Story and I kinda see where they're coming from. A main argument I hear is that the shantytown scene (an intense, gritty action scene) is immediately followed a whole lot of comedic scenes which don't date especially well. It's a really sharp tonal shift that a lot of people may not like. And it may be a letdown after such an amazing opening. But, hey, I like those comedic scenes. To each their own.

Police Story is still one of my all time favorites. My friends who have seen this all the way through agree that the mall fight at the end alone makes up for any and all gripes they may have with the rest of the film. So I'd definitely say consider finishing it.

On 10/20/2017 at 3:05 PM, DrNgor said:

How can anyone NOT love FANTASY MISSION FORCE? We're talking a film about people riding into Luxembourg, located somewhere in Canada, to save Abraham Lincoln from Chinese Nazis. And it features nuggets of dialog like, "Well, it turns out there weren't any ghosts in there after all. They were just wizards who used ghosts to scare people."

I'm going to have to breathe into a paper bag soon.

I'm with @DrNgor on this one. I didn't really like Fantasy Mission Force the first time I saw it. But I've probably seen it two or three more times since. Sure, it's awful, but I find it extremely entertaining.

[teako170]

22 hours ago, Silver and Gold Dragon said:

@teako170    I'm curious to know what it was about Police Story you didn't like? Is it things like you don't like guns in martial arts movies? Or did you find some scenes too silly? Like where Jackie's protecting Brigitte Lin or the answering phones scene? Is it martial art movies in contemporary settings you don't like? I'd be curious to know what 1980s HK action movies in a contemporary setting you do like?

I can understand why people wouldn't like movies from The Miracle Fighters series. In fact the first time I watched one, I wasn't that impressed and did find it very weird, but after I knew what to expect, I very much enjoyed them for there zaniness. I think sometime I miss judge a movie as 'bad' if it's not what I'm expecting. That said some always will seem bad.

That's a valid Q and I wish I had a concrete answer other than I'm more of a 50s - early 80s fan. There are many excellent or enjoyable films after these years but I just haven't had a great deal of interest in them. Think I was talking to KFB a while back and I said I need to make a list of films from '83 forward that I would re-watch. I'm sure its a rather small list. I recently re-watched A Better Tomorrow which I enjoyed.

Maybe it is the chuckle-fu than turns me off with Jackie's stuff. I still have the Police Story discs so, even though I didn't finish them, there must be a reason I kept them. Perhaps its to revisit them someday when I'm in the mood for some Jackie zaniness. 

[LuFengLover]

On 20/10/2017 at 1:40 AM, Silver and Gold Dragon said:

It's certainly a surprise to see Police Story mentioned. Can you remember what you didn't like about it? And how far into it you got?

I guess I prefer historical movies as opposed to modern movies with guns.  However, I do like some modern movies with guns such as A Better Tomorrow and Hard Boiled. Some of the humor was a bit silly, over the top or maybe I did not understand. I do like Jackie Chan. I guess people just overhyped Police Story so when I sat and watched it, I wasn't impressed.

On 22/10/2017 at 11:47 AM, Asmo said:

One that comes to mind right now is Battle Wizard. I think I alternated between fast forwarding and falling asleep.

I started watching Battle Wizard on Amazon Prime and I haven't finished watching it yet.  I don't even remember beginning this movie(hahahahaha) or why I stopped watching it!

[Killer Meteor]

Crazy Guy With Super Kung Fu and Shaolin Invincible Sticks really would be a lot better if that creepy bald man-child guy was cut out of them.

[One Armed Boxer]

16 hours ago, KenHashibe said:

Ring of Death: I've seen this a lot on this thread, which is odd because I hear it's quite good. And like a lot of you, I've only gotten to the scene with Lee Hoi Sang on the bridge. It didn't do anything for me.

Well, actually it's just me, but I'm very happy to know that I'm not the only one!

[Omni Dragon]

20 hours ago, teako170 said:

I said I need to make a list of films from '83 forward that I would re-watch. I'm sure its a rather small list. I recently re-watched A Better Tomorrow which I enjoyed.

19 hours ago, LuFengLover said:

However, I do like some modern movies with guns such as A Better Tomorrow and Hard Boiled.

Is there any martial art movies in a contemporary setting from around the same period, either of you enjoy?

 

[KenHashibe]

14 hours ago, Killer Meteor said:

Crazy Guy With Super Kung Fu and Shaolin Invincible Sticks really would be a lot better if that creepy bald man-child guy was cut out of them.

Agreed. Forgot all about Crazy Guy With Super Kung Fu. Haven't finished that one either though I remember enjoying the beginning.

6 hours ago, One Armed Boxer said:

Well, actually it's just me, but I'm very happy to know that I'm not the only one!

Oh, my mistake. I only skimmed through other responses and saw Ring of Death pop up a number of times.

[NoKUNGFUforYU]

On 10/19/2017 at 7:33 AM, DrNgor said:

I didn't finish Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning, because it was getting just too unpleasant to watch.

I felt the same way, just needless cruelty.

[DragonClaws]

Thought of two titles I should have mentioned already, Amsterdam Heavy (2011) and Ninja Avenger (1983), with Amsterdam Heavy being the worst of the two. The Martial Arts content in that movie is really sub par, and the Michael Madsen cameo at the start of the movie, is just pointless.

 

 

[DragonClaws]

Another title I remember struggling to get through, was Lion Strike (1994) a.k.a Ring Of Fire 3, starring Don Wilson & Bobbie Phillips. From what I recall, it was a real chore to sit through, and the action was well below average. Apart from Don Wilson's character name, this movie had no connection with the Ring Of Fire films.

 

[TibetanWhiteCrane]

Well, if we're counting US MA flicks as well, I find watching most, if not all, Don Wilson movies the cinematic equivalence of being beaten with a bag of oranges. Fucking hell he's dire.

[One Armed Boxer]

On 11/18/2017 at 1:15 PM, TibetanWhiteCrane said:

Well, if we're counting US MA flicks as well, I find watching most, if not all, Don Wilson movies the cinematic equivalence of being beaten with a bag of oranges. Fucking hell he's dire.

I've yet to see a Don Wilson movie, mainly because I've always been of the opinion that a trailer should be used to highlight the best bits, and even the trailers for his movies look like complete crap.  If you can't extract 2 minutes of excitement from a 90 min runtime, then you've lost me.

All this American B-movie talk reminded me of another one - a few years ago I bought a movie called 'Bounty Tracker' off the strength of a review written by our very own @ShaOW!linDude (check it out here).  It may have been a case of my expectations being set too high, but despite its mercifully short 87 minute run time, I waved the white flag at less than half an hour in.  I may need to revisit that one at some point, as unlike Don Wilson, at least this one put together a half decent trailer - 

 

[TibetanWhiteCrane]

There are some very entertaining US martial arts b-flicks, but I just can't get through Don's stuff. I've finished Bloodfist 3, Ring of Fire, Black Belt and Red Sun Rising. Had to bail on the rest. I'm not challenging his ring fighting record, but screen fighting and thespian-wise, he's absolutely horrendous. Most of his work ar rip-off flicks of better movies and he just sucks the enrgy out of every scene he's in. Line me up some Cannon or PM Entertainment efforts instead and I'm mor than game.

[Killer Meteor]

I loved the one Don Wilson film I saw...Batman Forever!

[DragonClaws]

20 hours ago, TibetanWhiteCrane said:

Well, if we're counting US MA flicks as well, I find watching most, if not all, Don Wilson movies the cinematic equivalence of being beaten with a bag of oranges. Fucking hell he's dire.

With the talk of Hot Potato starring Jim Kelly, I thought U.S B moives were fair game.

[ShaOW!linDude]

8 hours ago, One Armed Boxer said:

All this American B-movie talk reminded me of another one - a few years ago I bought a movie called 'Bounty Tracker' off the strength of a review written by our very own @ShaOW!linDude (check it out here).  It may have been a case of my expectations being set too high, but despite its mercifully short 87 minute run time, I waved the while flag at less than half an hour in.  I may need to revisit that one at some point...

Ooooooh. Sorry about that. I just dig that movie. If nothing else, at some point you need to at least ff to the dojo fight in that. To me, that is some of the better American B movie choreography ever put to film.

[One Armed Boxer]

22 hours ago, ShaOW!linDude said:

Ooooooh. Sorry about that. I just dig that movie. If nothing else, at some point you need to at least ff to the dojo fight in that. To me, that is some of the better American B movie choreography ever put to film.

Not at all dude, it was my choice to pick it up.  I'm one of those rare breeds that still pick up movies based off the strength of reviews they receive, however of course there's always a chance of not sharing the reviewers praise, that's part of the fun of watching them!

About 'Bounty Tracker', I'll be honest, it was the dojo scene that made me hit the brakes.  For some reason I decided to read your comment "The MA school fight is probably one of my favorite "1 vs multiple fighters" set pieces ever put to film" as you stating it was one of the greatest fights scenes ever filmed, rather than your actual statement of saying it's one of your favorites.  Once that scene wrapped, with such huge expectations, I felt so underwhlemed that I couldn't continue.

 

[ShaOW!linDude]

Okay, I can relate to that.