Steven Seagal Movies (2003 - 2021) The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

[DrNgor]

1 minute ago, DragonClaws said:

Is that the one where Seagal gets given some Wolverine style knive claws?.

Indeed! They are "nano-graphite blades". I thought of the Marvel character Killer Shrike when I saw those babies.

[DragonClaws]

On 7/21/2021 at 11:40 AM, DrNgor said:

I thought of the Marvel character Killer Shrike when I saw those babies.

 

You know your Marvel characters better than me @DrNgor.

[NoKUNGFUforYU]

I try to pretend he never happened. He was exposed years ago in an issue of Spy Magazine. 

[SamSeed]

On 7/19/2021 at 8:23 PM, Drunken Monk said:

So, is Maximum Conviction worth a watch? Not really. It's completely by the numbers and, when it's not being boring, it's busy being something we've all seen a million times before.

That's a shame. For my money, Steve Austin is one of the better wrestlers who make DTV action films. Compared to others, he can actually act, in fight drama Damage, but he can also do a fun fight flick like Hunt To Kill.

[Drunken Monk]

After over a week off, I decided to jump back into the world of Steven Seagal. With a whopping 4.4 on IMDB, I went for 2010's Born to Raise Hell. Mainly because of Darren Shahlavi being in it.

The plot is your usual bollocks. Seagal plays an Interpol agent working in Eastern Europe. He and his team get caught in a war between a gang headed by Shahlavi and wat is essentially the Russian mob. It's all a bit convoluted but you needn't pay attention. It all leads to the regular Seagal hijinks.
While Seagal was seemingly born to raise hell, he certainly wasn't born to raise the age of his girlfriends. In this one he's dating another 18 year old with whom he has a VERY awkward sex scene. She disrobes and he continues to dry hump her while wearing a thick, black hoodie. Just another excuse for him to twiddle with another wannabe actress' nipples. Spoiler alert, Seagal wrote his movie.

"The action? What about the action?" I hear you cry. Well...it's shockingly good. The hand to hand stuff I mean. It's Seagal a good 90% of the time and it looks strong, relatively complex and often brutal. He has a number of small punch ups and I genuinely enjoyed them.
I'll say this for Seagal; he loves violence. He's a big fan of blood, snapping bones and people smashing through things. I admire that about him because it's something I like to. He doesn't shy away from an R rating.
The gun play in this way ranges from "acceptable" to "ok, that wasn't too shabby." It's not going to blow anyone's hair back but it's not terrible for a second rate actioner like this. It's competent. I do find it funny that guns equipped with suppressors make exactly the same sounds as those without.

Shahlavi gets very little to do throughout the film. Whether it's acting or action. I'm thankful for the former since his generic Eastern European accent goes in and out half the time.
He does get a fight with Seagal at the end but, of course, he doesn't get a single hit in. He just gets his ass handed to him. Such is the Seagal method.

All in all, I certainly didn't hate this one. If the plot was a little better (it was a bit yawn worthy), it would have been a pretty fair-to-middling action film. Ultimately it's made worse but its direct-to-DVD feel. Everything feels low quality. Especially the sound. Everything sounds as though it was recorded by a mic sitting on a table two rooms away.

Not great but definitely good in comparison to the other Seagal films I've seen so far. A 2 out of 5, rather than a 1 out of 5.
 

 

[DrNgor]

On 7/29/2021 at 3:47 PM, Drunken Monk said:

While Seagal was seemingly born to raise hell, he certainly wasn't born to raise the age of his girlfriends. In this one he's dating another 18 year old with whom he has a VERY awkward sex scene. She disrobes and he continues to dry hump her while wearing a thick, black hoodie. Just another excuse for him to twiddle with another wannabe actress' nipples. Spoiler alert, Seagal wrote his movie.

Man, didn't even Van Damme cut this out after a certain point?

On 7/29/2021 at 3:47 PM, Drunken Monk said:

After over a week off, I decided to jump back into the world of Steven Seagal. With a whopping 4.4 on IMDB, I went for 2010's Born to Raise Hell. Mainly because of Darren Shahlavi being in it.

Okay, this is one that I never bought because for some reason I thought it was several episodes of True Justice bundled up into a single "film". There are two or three of those here in Brazil.

Edited November 11, 2021 by DrNgor

[DrNgor]

Last night I had dream that @AlbertV and @DragonClaws and I were having an in-depth, philosophical discussion about Out for a Kill (2003). 

[DragonClaws]

15 hours ago, DrNgor said:

Last night I had dream that @AlbertV and @DragonClaws and I were having an in-depth, philosophical discussion about Out for a Kill (2003). 

 

I found a copy of old DTV Steven Seagal film at my parents house the other week, mixed in with some non Martial Arts movies. I moved out a long time ago, but I they still keep finding DVD's in the house lol. I cant recall if it was Driven to Kill or Out for A Kill. They all just blur into one long bad movie.

[laagi]

Is this really happening!? Why...

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6081674/

[DrNgor]

(a bit outside of the stipulated time line)

I revisited Hard to Kill this morning. It was my first Seagal movie; my brother taped it off HBO back in the day and he or my dad were always watching it. It's easily one of his better films and actually feels like a real movie. We get to see Seagal undergoing a type of training regimen during his recovery phase. After the first fifteen minutes or so, the film slows down until the last half hour, when we get a series of shoot-outs, car chases and wrist-snapping sessions. It is weird watching Kelly LeBrock fawn over Seagal's character, knowing that their marriage would come to a end a couple of years later--the two having a non-explicit love scene is also a bit voyeuristic, too.

[DragonClaws]

 

Finally un-earthed my sealed copy of Asian Connection. Its been sat next to the T.V all week and I've yet to brave sitting through it.

[DrNgor]

14 minutes ago, DragonClaws said:

 

Finally un-earthed my sealed copy of Asian Connection. Its been sat next to the T.V all week and I've yet to brave sitting through it.

Do it! Face the music!!!!

[DrNgor]

Last night I was channel surfing and came across Code of Honor (2016) playing AMC - American Movie Classics...ha!!!

So, He-Who-Snaps-Wrists plays Robert Sykes, a former special forces guy (yawn!) whose wife and child are murdered by the criminal element. Distraught by losing his family even after crossing every 't' and dotting every 'i', he becomes the "Super Vigilante", who goes around Salt Lake City (well, the movie was filmed there), blowing up mafia-run night clubs and sniping drug dealers. Craig Sheffer (best known for Clive Barker's Nightbreed) plays William Porter, an FBI agent and Sykes's former subordinate, who is tracking down his former mentor while sheltering a stripper who might have witnessed one of Sykes's attacks. The stripper is targeted by a mafia boss named Romano.

There is an 11th hour twist that suggests that we might be watching Steven Seagal's Fight Club. But then the filmmakers remembered that we needed a final fight so that is refuted as quickly as it's brought up. There is a lot of bloody gunplay, some of it set up fairly well--like the gunfight where Craig Sheffer has to take out a bunch of gunmen while not getting out of his chair. The CGI blood is pretty cheesy, though. However, that's trumped by an awful CGI composite of two men sitting in a helicopter background. You guys couldn't afford a fake cockpit? The movie ends on a knife fight. Blah. And for Seagal sleeze, there are scenes in a strip club and a brief scene of the corrupt mayor having sex with his twenty-something secretary.

[shaolin swords]

call me crazy but i really enjoyed the movie he did in 2016 into the sun and of course the movies in the 80s and 90s he did 

[DrNgor]

5 hours ago, shaolin swords said:

all me crazy but i really enjoyed the movie he did in 2016 into the sun

Into the Sun was from 2005. I recall liking it more than I should have when I saw it back in the day. But then again, I'm very easy to please when it comes to Steven Seagal movies.

[shaolin swords]

14 minutes ago, DrNgor said:

Into the Sun was from 2005. I recall liking it more than I should have when I saw it back in the day. But then again, I'm very easy to please when it comes to Steven Seagal movies.

ok thanks for clearing that up lol i really like into the sun the ending is really good they are fighting with swords instead of guns at the end of the movie just likes the way every thing went down in the movies specially the end 

[DrNgor]

On 7/29/2021 at 3:47 PM, Drunken Monk said:

After over a week off, I decided to jump back into the world of Steven Seagal. With a whopping 4.4 on IMDB, I went for 2010's Born to Raise Hell. Mainly because of Darren Shahlavi being in it.

...

All in all, I certainly didn't hate this one. If the plot was a little better (it was a bit yawn worthy), it would have been a pretty fair-to-middling action film. Ultimately it's made worse but its direct-to-DVD feel. Everything feels low quality. Especially the sound. Everything sounds as though it was recorded by a mic sitting on a table two rooms away.

Not great but definitely good in comparison to the other Seagal films I've seen so far. A 2 out of 5, rather than a 1 out of 5.

I caught this last night on TV. What a way finish out the weekend! I thought the action was pretty solid as far as these things go. Shahlavi is wasted, which is pretty par for the course when it comes to pairing well-known martial arts actors with The Rotund One. And the movie is as violent and bloody as any other Seagal movie; he's consistent that way.

The sleaze was gratuitous. First you have Steven Seagal engaging in "man clothed, woman unclothed" (or whatever the name of that fetish is) sex with a girl 40 years his junior. And then you have that 3-minute scene of Darren Shahlavi walking out of a nightclub in slow motion, intercut with scenes of strippers dancing, one of whom is topless. Really, guys? Three minutes to film the bad guys leaving a club? Really?

[DrNgor]

Mercenary for Justice (2006) - An interesting pastiche of scenes ripped off from other, better movies. Mercenary for Justice could be cut into segments of 15-20 minutes and you'd think you were watching a completely different movie for each segment. The movie starts with a mercenary army in a covert operation for the CIA (headed by Luke Goss) overthrowing the dictator of a French-backed African island nation. The French army shows up and the mercenaries, led by Steven Seagal, take heavy casualties, including Seagal's best friend, "Radio" Jones. Seagal promises to take care of his widow and son. This is the Black Hawk Down portion of the movie.

Once back in Miami (played by Bulgaria, I assume), Seagal is hunted by his Black Ops broker, Chapel, and the CIA. The former wants him for a high-stakes, very shady job. The latter wants to kill him so as to guarantee that word never gets about Langley's involvement in the African coup. Seagal has no problem dispatching the CIA hitmen, but Chapel is a bit trickier. He kidnaps Radio Jones's wife and daughter and blackmails Seagal into helping him. The mission: infiltrate a maximum security prison in South Africa (actually played by South Africa) and rescue the incarcerated son of a big-time arms dealer before he is transferred to an even worse prison on US soil. And to make things more complicated, Seagal's colleague and lover, Maxine (Jacqueline Lord), has being blackmailed by Luke Goss to work against him.

Of course, this is the Great Neck Snapper we are talking about. So his Infinite Wisdom and BLACK OPS EXPERIENCE allows him to turn the tables on everybody who has ever wronged him. This leads to a prison shoot-out that rips-off the shower room gunfight in Michael Bay's The Rock; a bank job that echoes Entrapment--Jacqueline Lord even looks like Catherine Zeta-Jones; and your standard-issue "storm the heavily-guarded manor" action sequence.

Steven Seagal regular Dicky Beer handles the action sequences with a fair amount of competence. The opening war sequence looks like it had a decent amount of coin to fund it, especially considering how chintzy some of Seagal's DTV films can be. Lots of explosions, real estate damage, tanks, and whatnot. There are a handful of other gunfights, especially in the last fifteen minutes when Seagal and his team raid a lighthouse and the aforementioned mansion. Aikido demonstrations are kept to a minimum. There are some brief throws and take-downs and broken necks here and there. The only sustained fight pits Seagal against a CIA assassin in the restroom of an upscale restaurant that results in all the toilets and sinks getting destroyed, not too unlike True Lies. While 2000s Seagal films often go out of their way to rip off a bigger-budgeted Hollywood film (but keeping themselves a couple of rungs above your average Asylum mockbuster), this one ambitiously tries to rip off several. I guess you can say that at least there isn't any sleaze here.

[One Armed Boxer]

On 3/20/2022 at 4:12 AM, DrNgor said:

The only sustained fight pits Seagal against a CIA assassin in the restroom of an upscale restaurant that results in all the toilets and sinks getting destroyed, not too unlike True Lies.

Said scene even made it into COF's Top 15 Bathroom Fight Scenes. 

[Drunken Monk]

I'm an alcoholic. Despite being five years sober, I still crave a drink every now and again. It's an awful feeling. Today I found myself craving a Steven Seagal film and that's a worse feeling.

Scrolling through the streaming services, I eventually came across Urban Justice (2007) on Starz of all places. Urban Justice is a very simple action thriller. Someone kills Seagal's son, blames it on some gang bangers and so Seagal rolls into the 'hood flexing his Aikido skills and shooting people in the chest.
This isn't a bad film. Nowhere near as dismal as some of his other flicks. It's simple, straight forward and delivers enough action beats to keep the average fight fan happy. It also doesn't feature most of Segal's signatures. Despite befriending a lady, he does not have sex with her. Nor does she take her top off. A rarity! He also doesn't seem to be doubled that much. Even for some classic front kick action. I know, right? A real Seagal kick! They do exist.
Sadly, he does resort to AAVE every once in a while ("Whassup, maybe?") but he does allow characters to call him "white boy" so he's not trying to pass himself off as a Native American or as half Japanese in this one.

The action is fine. Some bad editing does real spoil them all that much. In fact, my biggest gripe is that they're too short. I genuinely wanted ore.
Sadly, the film does have my kryptonite in it: Eddie Griffin. I've hated him since the days of Double Take and he's insanely cartoonish in this one. They obviously chose to gave him the worst lines.

Two things you will see a SHITLOAD of in this film is people saying "motherfucker" and Seagal kicking people in the balls.

It's watchable though.

[ShaOW!linDude]

On 8/12/2022 at 4:02 PM, Drunken Monk said:

I'm an alcoholic. Despite being five years sober, I still crave a drink every now and again. It's an awful feeling. Today I found myself craving a Steven Seagal film and that's a worse feeling.

To your first statement: That's fantastic!!! Good on you, bruh!

To your second statement: Wow! That's saying something.

[Drunken Monk]

6 minutes ago, ShaOW!linDude said:

To your first statement: That's fantastic!!! Good on you, bruh!

To your second statement: Wow! That's saying something.

Thanks buddy!

Luckily, falling off the Seagal wagon isn’t as torturous as falling off the drinking wagon.

[DrNgor]

I once joked with a friend that if a strange woman ever wanted to lead me astray, she would only have to follow me to a video store, wave a DTV Seagal DVD in front of me, and I would follow her anywhere. I like these stupid movies more than anyone has any sane reason to.

[laagi]

On 3/20/2022 at 11:19 PM, One Armed Boxer said:

Said scene even made it into COF's Top 15 Bathroom Fight Scenes. 

@One Armed Boxer I demand you update that list with this entry Easily worthy of Top 15 IMHO.

 

[One Armed Boxer]

15 hours ago, laagi said:

I demand you update that list with this entry

That was satisfyingly brutal, but at COF we're snobs - small screen entries aren't included in our selection criteria.